In what I have confirmed is not a piece of exquisite satire by Washington City Paper’s Jessica Sidman, DC’s first “caviar fusion lounge” is slated to open on K Street this year. And in what I have confirmed is not an inspired troll by chef J.R. Robinson, the restaurant, which intends to cater to K Street’s unseemly surfeit of lobbyists and lawyers, will be named Odessa after Odessa Madre, one of Washington’s most notorious criminals.
If naming a K Street caviar restaurant after a criminal doesn’t get you off, know that Odessa will feature a “glass enclosed caviar room” where the 1% can be observed in their natural habitat—but not touched. Sidman reports that Odessa will also offer artisanal ice, I assume both in its cocktails and in its urinals. There will be bottle service, of course, as well as complimentary tassel shining. Quail eggs, the ketchup of the ruling class, will adorn most dishes. And drinks will be named for other famed Washington lawbreakers, like the Gin Gordon Liddy and the Vodka Shooter Libby.
General Manager Charles Chong, previously of Abramoff’s Steakhouse, told City Paper: “Since we’re on K Street, we’re trying to market ourselves to the crowd that’s here: the lobbyists, the lawyers. But at the same time, we’re not trying to be overly exclusive.” Indeed, Odessa plans to remain unlocked and open to the public during business hours. Black tie and white race are encouraged, but not required. Chong says he expects Odessa to be a success, and even hinted at expansion, saying the time might come to open an associated food limo for hungry lobbyists on the go.
Odessa opens this fall at 1413 K Street.